


I'mma Flirt

by prodigalsanyo



Category: Prodigal Son (TV 2019)
Genre: Gallows Humor, Gen, No Plot/Plotless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-16 11:00:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21506788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prodigalsanyo/pseuds/prodigalsanyo
Summary: Edrisa flirts with disaster.
Relationships: Malcolm Bright & Edrisa Tanaka
Comments: 5
Kudos: 34





	I'mma Flirt

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on tumblr as I'mma Flirt by Dreezy feat T Payne (as Malcolm B).

Mingling with the living required a mannered way of speaking, a disciplined pause between candid thought process and verbal articulation, and intentional listening in the moment.

Whenever she explained what she did for a living, Edrisa couched her answers more palatably. “I work for the state, consulting on medical reports. Yes, I’m a doctor. Yes, I can look at that rash. No, you should schedule a visit with your PCP.”

After about her first three months of working in NYC as a medical examiner, grinding through her body count as her workload literally stacked up, Edrisa Tanaka was tired of her professional persona stifling her personality. As long as she didn’t cuss or use racial slurs at work or offer anyone back rubs, Edrisa was done second guessing every word that came out of her mouth.

On the whole, Edrisa considered herself to be a steady worker with a good attitude. Despite the graphic nature of the work she did, Edrisa was like any other single woman in the city. She didn’t romanticize the deceased nor did she see any reason not to show good humor. If only her love life wasn’t flatlined.

“How do you like your eggs, Ms.?” asked the cute food truck guy.

“As cooked as a man on fire,” Edrisa said, her small bill folds crisp and neatly arranged.

The food truck guy’s thickly lashed and wide-set dark brown eyes skimmed over Edrisa’s work ID. Edrisa winked at him through her glasses fogged in the cold.

Those eggs were just the right texture, a steamy fix, the morning when Edrisa examined an elderly man whose eyes had burst like yolks over easy in a fatal apartment fire. Edrisa was flushing black flecks as large as cornflakes cereal down the drain for a week.

“How are you doing, Dreezy?” her friend Dani greeted her. Dani wore lipstick which meant that she was hitting it off well with her man Khalil.

“Work’s killing me but I haven’t gone to pieces. I’m keeping myself together unlike these love birds,” Edrisa replied. She shuffled the remains of a couple who had leapt to their deaths together; it had not been a clean drop.

“Dagg, Edrisa, why you say that. These kids made a stupid decision and their families have to pay for that,” Dani said. “These dumb kids go You only live once YOLO! And then they figure out the hard way that a person lives once.”

“You’re a cute young thing yourself, senorita. Surely you haven’t forgotten that love’s a messy tumble. I’ve found myself falling, just not six stories down with ouch-y ledges.”

“What the frick happened to her hand? She’s not a mummy, how it break off like that?” Dani asked.

“You can cut up London broil and beef jerky the same way. It looks like her promise ring took the impact, sheared off her finger and her pinky.”

“Ugh,” Dani said. “Jumpers are the worst. We’re gonna get follow up calls to go pick up the loosies if you don’t got her ring.”

Edrisa finished prying open the boyfriend’s digits. “Awww! No need! They linked pinkies, that’s so precious.”

Edrisa showed Dani the ring, rotating the fingers to showcase the workmanship. Dani turned to the side, recoiling from the sight, but not before catching a glimpse.

“That’s a nice, sharp rock. Gotta give it to Romeo for going big,” Dani said, pinching the bridge of her nose. She muttered a prayer to the Virgin.

“Find out where Juliet got her nails done. Look, not a scratch. My cuticles could use some selfcare. All these chemicals are giving me hang nails, too. The life and times of an MD,” Edrisa complained.

“I can’t believe we’re on this topic. Only you, Dreezy. Meaning no disrespect to girlfriend here… and there… and over there, but I know a better place you could treat yo’ self,” Dani said.

“Thank you mamacita. After I get done sorting out our 3D puzzle this week, I wills! We should get our nails done together!” Edrisa exclaimed.

“Well, alright. But we’re not talking about these broken people. Nothing about work,” Dani hesitantly agreed. “Have… fun, chicka.”

“I love puzzles! Thanks for saying so,” Edrisa said, chipper as Dani left, shaking her head.

Things picked up at work when Officer Arroyo hired on Malcolm Bright for specialized cases. Special Agent Bright was the best-looking person to hit her office, and Edrisa had a larger scope of comparison.

The next time when Edrisa met Special Agent Bright after the introductions, JT Tarmel brought him on to the premises. Edrisa knew Tarmel by his cologne; her brain acknowledged the recognizable leather and muted spice while detecting a new bouquet, one that contrasted with traditional male products.

Special Agent Bright entered like a breath of fresh air, or to be more accurate, like a delightful stream of botanicals and a fruity tang which lightened the room.

“Detective Tarmel, you brought me a live one this time,” Edrisa said, to be sociable.

“Doctor Tanaka, you know Bright,” JT said formally. “Can we get into it, please? Without taking too much time?”

“You can’t blame a girl for remembering fun. Gotta break up the day when you work with stiffs,” Edrisa said. Anticipating visitors from a specific precinct where a certain profiler consulted, Edrisa briskly offered up the reports and work ups to JT Tarmel.

JT stood closer to her with Special Agent Bright at his shoulder, in deference to the detective. JT held the physical file with Agent Bright eyeing the paperwork, his restless hands bunched at the base of his spine.

“How long are you in the city for, Special Agent?” Edrisa asked. “In spite of the alarming ratio of serial killers we’re experiencing this season, I’d like to buy you coffee or tea.”

She would’ve loved to have him for a full course meal with a palate cleanser, dessert, and a night cap but Edrisa remembered his aversion to food.

“If you have coffee, I’ll take some now,” responded the Special Agent.

“Take it!” Edrisa was quick to agree. “As a matter of fact, I’ve got your fix.”

“Don’t dally. We’ve got to locate a possible eyewitness and the drive’s not a quickie,” JT muttered.

“I’ve got scones from the farmer’s market that was set up this morning. If you can wait a few minutes, I can toaster oven a couple goodies for you fellas to go with your coffee.” Edrisa smiled beatifically.

“As soon as you hear the ding, we’re going,” JT told Bright. He didn’t say no to the coffee, the treat, or the opportune time for Edrisa to get more acquainted with the special agent.

Edrisa dug into her emergency stash of to-go paper cups with the lids. She popped the pricier Hawaiian K-cup into the coffee maker for Malcolm. And, reluctantly, another Hawaiian K-cup for JT. Packaged in biodegradable units, this coffee was better than her regular store brand.

“I like your set up,” Special Agent Bright complimented as Edrisa played barista.

“I need half an excuse to stop for fuel,” Edrisa said, the red-hot light glowing as the minutes ticked down on the buttery promise of scones hanging between them.

“It’s a bit early but you want some of my Sugar in the Raw?” Edrisa asked. She paid too much money for the fair-trade label not to get fresh with the brand name. "Or can I get you Sweet 'n Low?"

“Thank you, but no. I like to keep it simple,” said the agent, so typical. He smiled, two slow blinks the only indication that he picked up on her fresh tone.

“I feel ya. I ordered basic black when I attended lectures but then I finished school, picked up more experiences, and now I can’t get by without my shot of cream,” Edrisa said.

“You have any guilty pleasures, special agent?” Edrisa kept up her smile even as the man backed up a half step, his chest briefly rising from a surprised laugh.

“I think I’ll have one of these pastries which smell lovely. Made from scratch?” Bright commented.

“As fresh as you can get without waking and baking, Special Agent Bright,” Edrisa quipped. She licked the spoon after stirring her coffee.

“It’s Malcolm. If you say Special Agent one more time, you’ll bring the NSA on us,” he half joked.

“Ooh, are you allowed to say that? Won’t you get in trouble at Washington,” Edrisa replied.

“I work with NYPD now. My federal background was a phase,” Malcolm said.

“So you’re in the city,” Edrisa said, perking up and not from the coffee. “I was sure that you’d jettison out after finishing your assignments here. I came here for the job and it’s been rough for me to get around and appreciate the local scene.”

“I’m from here, Edrisa. Don’t feel too bad. I have a hard time hanging out with others myself,” Malcolm said.

“Lots of stiffs in New York,” Edrisa agreed. She smiled like a cat that got the cream. “You know, you should be taking me out. Let me appreciate the locals.”

“You’d have a better time linking up with a social group or doing meet-ups,” Malcolm said, waving his hand. “I think there’s an app for that.”

“You can’t do dinner with a new friend?” Edrisa asked.

“I shouldn’t,” Malcolm said, wistfully. “Most food makes me sick.”

“But coffee’s okay, this is good for you,” Edrisa quickly asserted. She watched him from beneath her quirked brow.

“It’s good coffee,” Malcolm said.

He was a fine specimen; she refused to get offended or down in the dumps like so many of her Jane Doe hoes.

Her heart beat faster and somehow, Edrisa didn’t think it had much to do with caffeine. The conflicting expression on his face made her open her mouth. He said he shouldn’t do dinner, not that he didn’t want to.

“Do me a favor,” Edrisa began, “and leave us a verified review on google. Get the word out about our coffee.”

“For whatever reason, our customers come here once and we never see them again. I give ‘em full service and we fill most tables, but the lack of feedback kind of kills it for me.”

He choked into his beverage as she kept a straight face, and just in time as the scones finished warming up. Edrisa sent the boys off on their goose chase, no hard feelings.

As she drained and then opened up a soggy and putrid bloater recovered from the Hudson, Edrisa sighed to herself, the spark of humor in his weary eyes and the short-lived smile flashing Bright in her mind. 

**Author's Note:**

> Fufufu, oneshot too fun for me not to share. Oh GIRL.


End file.
